This is the title of one of my favorite songs by The Black Eyed Peas. Over the past few weeks, I have found myself thinking a lot about the words of the song. More and more, it appears we are becoming more hostile and less gentle with each other.
Sigmund Freud describes the human psyche (personality) on three levels. The first level, the highest level, is the super ego. When we behave from a super ego way of thinking, we are moral and kind. If you are religious, it may be responding in this way “what would God do?” The next level, beneath the super ego, is the ego. This type of thinking is when we do the right thing but only when others are watching. An example would be driving within the speed limit until the police officer pulls off the road and then taking off. The lowest level, described by Freud, is the id. Children naturally have too much id. The mentality of a child is “MINE” and it is not until they grow and mature (hopefully) that they learn to share and not be so self-centered.
Unfortunately, there are many adults who have too much id. I like to say “id-ish” but I am quite certain it isn’t a word! The mentality is “me, me me” or “get him before he gets me” way of thinking. Telling someone what you think from a place of anger, which is really a place of fear, is behaving with too much id.
Whether we are talking about bullying in school, religion, politics or maybe even giving our opinion on Facebook, please me mindful of your intention. I remind my patients to speak their truth with ahimsa which is from a place of non-violence. If you have nothing kind to say, perhaps remember that sometimes silence is the best response. People think and believe in a way which makes sense to them. Don’t judge each other, just try to be the best you can be and as for the rest of the world, do as my mother always says “give it to God.”
