Do You Hate Eating Out and Seeing Misbehaved Kids?
Here is what we can all learn together.
This past summer, my husband and I were in Europe and made reservations for dinner at a fancy restaurant with excellent reviews. To our surprise, and initially horror, there were four tables around us with young children. Some were grandparents with grandchildren and others were parents of young children.
We’ve all been there. There is nothing worse than going out for dinner, the anticipation of paying for a nice meal, only to find children nearby crawling on the floor, standing up backwards in their seats or simply misbehaving. For me, it is equally disheartening to see young children with headsets on in front of a tablet while both parents are scrolling on their cell phones.
Dining out with young children does not need to be this way. As I watched the children in Europe, I noticed adults enjoying a meal out with their children while, at the same time, helping them master essential developmental milestones.
Here is what I noticed and why it is important.
- The children who were old enough to talk ordered their food with little to no help from the adults. Why is this important? Around the age of 5, children start to learn about relationships, relationships outside of their family. Social anxiety is not abnormal because a child has not quite mastered navigating relationships. Ordering their own meal and speaking directly to the server is an ideal opportunity for children to practice speaking up, being polite helping them build confidence. Adults should offer as little input as possible.
- After ordering, parents and grandparents should engage children in conversation. This is not the time to lecture them about their messy room or quiz them on their spelling words. This time should be relaxing and enjoyable. If the restaurant has offered the children crayons and an activity, one of the adults at the table should encourage them to “play” along. Even 5-10 minutes would be worthwhile. Why? Connecting with children builds relationships.
- About this time, the food should be coming to the table. Children should learn to wait until everyone has been served before they start eating, napkins on their laps and elbows off the table. Why? Proper food etiquette will help children grow into well mannered adults.
- Children should be encouraged to use a knife and fork, providing they are not eating finger foods such as pizza or french fries. Why? Using a knife and fork will help children develop fine motor skills. At first, these skills will be difficult but, remember, practice makes perfect!
- What should you do if your child is misbehaving? Instead of yelling or becoming frustrated, take the child out of the restaurant and have a firm but calm conversation. Give them an opportunity to talk about what is bothering them and do your best to find a resolution. If nothing appears to be working, go back to the table, ask the server to pack up the rest of the food and go home! With my own children, I only had to do this once. I told the server that the children were not behaving well enough to stay and thanked them for packing up the rest of our food. The children were very disappointed, especially since they could not order dessert and we never had that problem again!
On the way home, be sure to compliment your children on the things they did well. No need to be overly critical, they are just learning.
Happy Dining!
